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EVERYTHING IS AWESOME

Have you seen The Lego Movie yet? If you haven’t, STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND GO EXPERIENCE IT.

This movie is the embodiment of every kid’s Lego fantasy. It literally has it all: car chases, pirates, superheroes, SPACESHIPS, over-priced coffee, and Morgan Freeman! The best part? EVERYTHING is comprised of Legos. Everything. Even smoke, fire, and water. Really, it’s amazing. The animation is so good, I was sure it had to be all stop-motion (if that makes sense?). Turns out I was wrong, but I don’t even care. Really. It doesn’t feel like a CGI movie.

I can’t think of anything wrong with this movie, which is surprising because I can be kind of picky. A lot was riding on this movie though… Lego is such a unique and popular brand, so of course every viewer (which is basically everyone on the planet) is going to have high expectations.

Will it be wholesome/kid-friendly? Will there even be a plot? Will it do the legendary bricks JUSTICE?

Questions such as these kept me awake at night weeks before it hit the theaters. Not only was there a full movie investment on the line, but an entire COMPANY. I almost had a panic attack when I realized that an awful Lego Movie could destroy the great name of Lego and change life as we know it, melting the plastic realm of childhood dreams into a molten ruin…

But alas, there was never any reason to fear for Lego’s livelihood. They successfully produced the greatest commercial of all time, like Super Bowl commercial material. It’s just plain FUN. For everyone. The humor is quirky AND appropriate, unlike some kids’ movies that sneak innuendos right and left…

Companies like Mega Blocks better pay close attention, or they’ll find themselves out of business before you know it. Lego made a super wise choice. Like, high-five to their marketing team, high-five to the guy that said “Hey, let’s make a Lego movie” and high-five to that guy’s parents! High-fives for everyone! I hope other toy companies follow in their footsteps and produce their own mega commercials (mega-mercials?), or “movies” as the kids call them, featuring toys we know and love. I’m all for that! You have to stay competitive somehow!

Above all, the message behind the movie is great. (I cried the second time I saw it because I’m a sap) If you haven’t seen it, I command that you do your best to change that. Please. It will restore your faith in humanity and make you realize that EVERYTHING IS AWESOME.

“Fat Ladies in Spaaaaace” A (Coloring) Book Review

A number of weeks ago, I stumbled across a curious assortment of coloring books online. Excited to see these in person, I ordered the most interesting one, Fat Ladies in Spaaaaace. In the description on Amazon, it’s described as being a “body positive” coloring book. I thought, “Hm, that’s a cool concept. I’m all for self-esteem!”
It finally came in the mail today! I was so excited. I could hardly handle it. The pictures would be awesome and the captions would be funny and empowering at the same time because outer space is cool and sci-fi is cool and all body types are cool and oh my goodness what a pretty cover. I CAN’T WAIT TO COLOR ALL—
Oh my.
What.
Why.
WHY.

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SEDUCING ALIEN WOMEN?

Woah now. Huh? I’m not really sure why that’s necessary. What does that have to do with having a good body image? As I continued to leaf through the book, it became more and more obvious that these women, all of them, were homosexuals. WHY. WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING AT ALL. WHY. WHY. WHY.

I was so psyched when I discovered this coloring book! It appeared to have a positive message to relay as well as super cool sci-fi drawings. But no. This coloring book doesn’t ever say that it’s okay to be any shape/size. Never. It’s just page after page of awkward pictures. Not in an explicit way, although a number of the characters could be a bit more covered… Once I realized these women were gay, it totally changed everything. I felt uncomfortable just looking at them, so how on Earth would I ever be able to COLOR them? My, my, my.

Homosexuality is a sin. Plain and simple. I’m not saying it’s any worse than any other sin. But still, a sin it remains. This coloring book wouldn’t have bothered me so much if the content had actually reflected the title. I bought this to see a bunch of cool female space warriors who love their bodies. Why are they also gay? Why…

Long story short, I’m very disappointed in this book. Sigh. There go my dreams of quirky coloring books. I will say this though, the artwork was pretty cool. The author, Nicole Lorenz is very creative and really knows her science fiction jargon! This is definitely one of my favorites…

For all the Doctor Who fans!

For all the Doctor Who fans!

This isn’t exactly an average coloring book that can be found at your local Wal-Mart. Really, I give the author props for being different. But I would never offer this to a child, so the hunt for quirky coloring books continues…

Guess Who? No.

All right, let me preface this by saying that this post was originally intended to be in video form. As you can see, that didn’t work out so well, but it’s okay, I don’t mind wasting 4 hours on a video that fails to publish. No worries.

My cousin Brandon requested that I review the newest version of Hasbro’s “Guess Who?” This confused me at first because who honestly hasn’t played it before? Why would I do a review of a timeless board game? How could the new version be that different?

Great Caesar’s ghost, I was wrong! Soooooo wrong!

This isn’t even the same game. The rules of the original still apply, but the dynamics have changed. Instead of guessing PEOPLE, you guess OBJECTS. Kind of takes away from the name of the game doesn’t it? A slice of pizza isn’t exactly a “who.” Way to teach the kids proper pronoun usage, guys. Bravo.

Before I tear this game to pieces, let’s focus on the positives.

There are four different categories to choose from: pets, food, sea creatures, and modes of transportation.

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These cards are inserted into the “housing unit” or the plastic doohickey with the semi-secretive doors.

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With only 15 choices to pick from, you can play a game in about 3 minutes if you go slowly. Your choices are eliminated quickly by asking questions like “Are you a vegetable?” “Yes.” Boom. All other foods are off the board. Personally I don’t see this as an advantage, but for children with short attention spans, this may be a more suitable board game option. However, keep in mind that quick gameplay sacrifices the sacred element of FUN.

Okay, forget the positives. It’s ranting time. This is Guess WHO. Am I crazy to expect a game that involves guessing a PERSON’S identity? It can most certainly be argued that kids may be more likely to ask discriminatory questions based on skin color, gender, etc. Seriously people, stop being so sensitive.

“Is your person old?” Disrespectful to elders.

“Is your person a woman/man?” Sexist.

“Is your person black/white?” Racist.

Hold the phone. This game is about using adjectives to describe people. ADJECTIVES. If an adjective offends you, call Merriam-Webster and have them remove it from the dictionary. Let me know how that turns out. How are we supposed to describe people?

There may be other reasons for changing this game so drastically. I’m just calling it like I see it. And all I can see is a crappy game that put me out $14.99.

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The Great Doh-bate

 

I discover the difference between the new Play-Doh Plus and the original! Spoiler alert: I compare taste also…

 

(Sorry about the poor quality! I had some technical difficulties… I promise to do better next time!)